envy, jealousy, and covetousness

I first knew about the difference between jeaously and envy in seventh grade when we had a lesson on the difference in meaning between "I am jealous of you" and "I envy you." 

Jealous: afraid of losing something you already have--specifically affection or a position
Envy: wanting something you don't have.

The example our teacher used at the time was a girl and her boyfriend.  The girl who has no boyfriend and wants one is envious of girls who have one.  The girl who has a boyfriend and doesn't like other girls talking to him is full of jealousy.

However, after my last post, I found an article on crosswalk.com entitled Why Not Me? A Single Woman's Struggle with Envy.  The author, Carolyn McCulley, explains the difference between envy and covetousness.

I didn't know about this third one and how it is different until now.  And she is right.

I probably should have used the word covet in my post yesterday--not envy.  According to both her article and dictionary.com envy is longing with resentment towards the person who has what you desire, while coveting is longing for what someone else has.

When I first read this, I actually proudly thought "oh that is good.  I don't resent.  Longing without resentment is better than longing with resentment.  This is not so bad." 

Oh, how easily we can be deceived!  Good thing I kept reading.

Carolyn points out in her article that God deals with coveting what our neighbor has in the tenth commandmant. Basically, if you will recall with me, God tells His people "Thou shalt not covet."  We are not supposed to covet--"wish, long, or crave for (something, especially the property of another person)."  In other words, it is not "not so bad."  It is sin.

You know, it is easy for me to think that I am a "good girl" and for me to give off the image that I am a "good girl" to others.  I do what I am "supposed to." I respect my elders.  I don't do overtly "bad" things.  I do a pretty good job staying away of the "things of the flesh" listed in Galations 5:19-21: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, participation
in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, outbursts of
anger, selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong
except those in your own little group, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin."  Those are bad things, obviously. 

But, trust me, I still struggle with sin.  If you are a careful reader (and click thru on scripture references) or if you have memorized this passage of scripture, you will know I left out two of the things in this list of "sinful nature" qualities: jealousy and envy.  God lists envy right next to "participation in demonic activities" and "drunken orgies." 

It is easy for me to allow the hot tears of longing to flow down my cheeks as I hold a friend's newborn.  They feel like they are justified tears, good, healthy tears.  But, really, in all honesty, they are sinful tears.  I am coveting what my neighbor has.  That is not good.  The Bible clearly tells us coveting is wrong.

But there is good news for me--and for others who struggle with longing for the things that others have been blessed with.  We do not have to live under the domain of our sinful nature.  Here is how Carolyn describes it in her article:

As the apostle Paul writes in Titus, we were once enslaved to sins like envy. But then
the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared! We were saved, not only from this miserable, sin-filled existence, but from the righteous wrath of God. And not only were we spared, we were made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Heirs! We live as those who will one day inherit everything! So why do we resent when someone else receives some earthly trinket? (I am making an argument here, but I am not by extension calling marriage and family mere trinkets.)
Knowing this, we are then freed to love one another earnestly. We don’t have to covet, envy, and resent what happens to us in this life. We have been set free from these passions because we have been born again of imperishable seed.

Envy and coveteousness can and should be put away.  And, thankfully, I don't have to do it in Amanda's power.  Thankfully, my gracious God has given me his Holy Spirit to help me grow in spiritual maturity to become more like Him.