love unreserved

Lawrance is leading worship this Sunday at the bilingual church we are a part of, and below is one of the songs he’s using.  I think it is such a pretty song.

In fact, I first heard it when our friends sang it at our wedding.  There is another version with the lyrics changed to make a wedding version of the song.



Since the song originates from Hong Kong, I can only find it online in Cantonese and English.  (Well, I did find it here, but I think the Cantonese version is prettier.)









Lyrics in Chinese:

常聽說 世界愛沒長久，
哪裡會有愛無盡頭？
塵俗的愛只在乎曾擁有，
一刻燦爛便要走！
而我卻 確信愛是恆久，
碰到了你已無別求：
無從解釋、不可說明的愛，
千秋過後仍長存不朽！
誰人受 痛苦被懸掛在木頭？
至高的愛盡見於刺穿的手；
看！血在流反映愛沒保留，
持續不死的愛到萬世不休！
惟求奉上生命全歸主所有，
要將一切盡獻於我主的手；
我已決定今生再沒所求，
惟望得主稱讚已足夠！

Lyrics of the English version (not a direct translation, so it’s more “singable):

I’ve always been told love won’t survive
Promises will turn into lies
The world just thinks love comes and passes though
It never lasts pure and true
But I still believe can last
It’s your unfailing love that gives me rest
You were there when I needed you most
I’ll never walk all alone
On the cross you died and took away my curse
Love so wondrous no one ever could deserve
Your bleeding hands proved your love unreserved
You’re my greatest joy and treasure on the earth.
Make my life a fragrant offering I pray
Help me Lord to serve you truly every day
Through tears and joy I’ll give you all my praise
Let the whole world know your love and grace

responsive reading from our wedding

Tomorrow is our second anniversary, and I’m finally getting around to something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.  Actually, I’ve wanted to do it since about 1997, when I visited my New Testament professor’s home.   He and his wife had their vows hanging up in their kitchen for all to see and for them to remember daily.  I thought that was such a neat idea.

Plus, Lawrance and I are making our wedding vows a part of our anniversary.  Each year, on our anniversary we repeat them to each other again.  So, as I’m digging through my hard drive trying to find them, I also stumbled upon the responsive reading we used in our Taiwanese wedding.  Of course in the Taiwanese wedding, we used Chinese, but for my planning purposes, I used English.

I’m not sure where the idea came from–at this point it’s anyone’s guess.  We had a few goals with our weddings–one was to stress the idea of a covenant, one was to stress grace, and another was to make Scripture central to everything.  So, I compiled verses from the Bible into a responsive reading–I do remember it being too long and having a hard time cutting it down to a reasonable length.  Another couple that got married after us had a man and woman take turns reading aloud these verses at their wedding, and that worked beautifully too.

Then the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. (Gen 2:18)

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. (Gen 2:21)

And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. (Gen 2:22)

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Gen 2:24)

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. (Prov 18:22)

House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Prov 19:4)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Eph 5:22)

For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.(Eph 5:23)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (Eph 5:25)

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph 5:28)

You must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Col 3:12)

You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Col 3:13)

And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. (Col 3:14)

And whatever you do or say, let it be as a representative of the Lord Jesus, all the while giving thanks through him to God the Father. (Col 3:17)

May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else. (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. (Mat 19:6)

Perhaps I’ll ask Lawrance when he gets home whether or not we also want to make reading these scriptures together a part of either our Aug 31st or our March 7th celebrations.

a wedding–prepping the home

Our Easter Sunday this year was a little different–we were privileged to attend Lawrance’s brother’s wedding.
It started with us going back to Lawrance’s childhood home to help the family prepare for receiving the bride.

The groom, YuHong, had shaved his head into the shape of a heart. 

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The groom showed us his transformed childhood home into a room to welcome a bride.  He was proud.
Placed on all the items were little red circles with the “double joy” wedding symbol inside.
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Traditionally children are to jump on the new couple’s bed in order to ensure lots of children.  They substituted with a small bride and groom statue decked out in traditional Chinese wedding clothes.

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Another new-to-me superstition was that a bride is not to look at herself in the mirror (don’t remember why, will have to ask). However, it really isn’t followed not, but in honor of that tradition YuHong covered the mirror in the bedroom with red paper.

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Double Joys were everywhere–even the front door. And they will stay there till ?? (not sure–a year? till Chinese New Year? till they fall off?).

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This wedding banner was placed over the household entrance. I think it is religious, but I don’t know more than that.

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TongYuan also needed to be prepared. So, Lawrance, the awesome tongyan master, lent a helping hand.  Why tongyuan at a wedding? Well, sweet sticky dumplings represent sticking together forever, a sweet life, and fullness of blessing.
 
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We also had tea and fruit prepared.  Serving the tea and tongyuan were my job. ;)
 

happy 2nd 1st anniversary to us!!

Yep,  that’s right . . . we celebrated our 2nd 1st anniversary this weekend. :D

A year ago Sunday–March 7, 2009–we had our Taiwanese wedding and banquet.

Which means . . . we’ve been married-married for a year and a half.

How can that be??

It’s hard to believe that I’ve only known the man who knows me most and best for a little over two years.

All I can say is . . . God is good.  He is so very kind.

So, happy 2nd 1st anniversary to us!!  Wuhoo!!!!

the engagement

YuHong and Cindy were engaged on Sunday. This is an official event in Taiwan between the betrothed’s families.

Lawrance's parents with one of the wedding photos at the entry

There are few different ceremonies preformed at the engagement. One ceremony is the presenting of gifts. Here are the “gifts” given from The Wu family to the bride-to-be.


Then Mrs. Wu helped to place the jewelry on her newest daughter-in-law, and Cindy’s mother placed her gifts to her new son-in-law on him.
 

Like at a Taiwanese wedding, the bride and groom to be are presented with their parents to all present.  This is an opportunity to thank the guests who came as well as offer a toast.


In addition there would be a tea ceremony. (But Lawrance didn’t get any photos of that since he was a participant.)  I’ll ask Lawrance more about this, and write about it later.  I’ve actually never seen it done before, only read about it.

And, there is also an entire banquet feast as well.  But, the groom-to-be’s family slips out before the dessert is served.  Neither Lawrance nor I know why this is the tradition, but it is. :)


And, there is dress changing, toasting table to table, passing out of candy from a basket by the door as well–just like at a wedding.
 

Since Cindy’s family is in Taipei, both sides of Lawrance’s family together took a charted bus to the north.


Newly engaged women also give their friends and family members (on her side of the family) a box of cookies or cakes to help announce the engagement. Here are Cindy’s cakes:


And, here is Lawrance with the happy couple!


Since traditionally the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, Lawrance and I didn’t have a Taiwanese style engagement ceremony.  I actually think that is one of the reasons why Lawrance’s parents so freely let the two of us get married in my hometown with my friends and family–in their minds it was similar to the bride’s hosting of the engagement ceremony.

another wedding

No, no, not another one for us.  We’ve already had two–that’s enough for one lifetime! :)

Yu-Hong and Cindy

Lawrance’s brother, Yu-hong and his long time girlfriend, Cindy are tying the knot before this Chinese New Year.

We’ve been encouraging them to get married for a long time–they started dating a few years before us.  Within the last week they’ve planned to have their engagement ceremony on Jan 24th and their wedding ceremony Feb 7th.  Lawrance’s mom was like “what is up with my sons and their fast weddings?”

We took three months from the time we decided to get married to the time we actually had our wedding; they are doing it in just weeks.

Two major ceremonies in two different cities, hundreds of guests and less than a month of planning!  Plus all the other details that must be attended to to make both families happy.  Wow . . . I don’t envy them at all.  However, I am SO happy they have decided to get married.  They make such a great couple.

In fact, Lawrance and I were so confident that one day Cindy would be family that I invited her to be in our Taiwanese wedding even though I didn’t know her very, very well at the time.

Yu-Hong and Cindy at our Taiwanese Wedding

Why the rush for before Chinese New Year?  Well, it’s more auspicious.  You see odd numbers are bad for marriage–everything should be even (2, 6, 8–but of course not 4, a homophone for death).  Even numbers are good for marriage–even numbers symbolize that the two will stay together.  After Chinese New Year, Yu-Hong will be considered 29 and Cindy 31.  29 is especially bad (as are all years ending a decade).

There are so many levels of culture to this that would make a non-Taiwanese person’s head spin.

1. YuHong is actually, right now according to his date of birth and Western counting, 27 (an odd number).
2. His birthday is Dec 25th.  So, he will not be 29 according to his date of birth until Dec 25, 2011.
3. But, you have to factor in an extra year for time spent in the womb.
4. Then, you must remember that you get a year older during the Chinese New Year–not on your birthday.

Years ago, I would have thought and thought about this, and the illogicality of it all would have bothered me, but now I think “well, I’m happy for them.  Marriage is good.”

The only sad part of this good news is that . . . I won’t be there.  I’m leaving a week from today to head back to America for three weeks.  So, I’ve instructed Lawrance to take lots of photos for me. :)

Update: Yu-hong and Lawance’s grandmother passed away on Jan 12, so Yu-hong and Cindy’s wedding will be postponed.  To counter the “bad luck” of getting married in a bad year, they had to consult with a fortune teller to help them pick a very, very auspicious wedding date. So, the lunar calendar date of Feb 2nd was chosen–2/2–a good day for couples.  Ironically this is April 4th–4/4–on the Gregorian calendar.  Ironic not in an amusing way, but in a sad way as it reveals just how futile man’s thinking can be.

my groom sings to me

I am SO excited by what a good friend handed to me last night!!  She passed on to me a CD of videos from our Taiwanese wedding!

Here is the first thing I saw . . . Lawrance singing to me a song entitled "Vows" after we had exchanged our vows.  I got giddy just listening to it last night!! 

My Groom Sings To Me from amanda wu on Vimeo.

I LOVE listening to him sing . . . and I often ask him to sing me to sleep.  I am blessed!

ancient chinese wedding photos (well, kinda)

The headdresses and clothing is all handmade and real (and real old too).  Also, the headdress I wore was incredibly heavy--I would guess several pounds.

We didn't do the entire "2 day professional photo taking extravaganza" that most nearly-weds here in Taiwan do.  We just did a quick afternoon session to get some photos of us in traditional wedding attire and a few studio shots in our own wedding attire too.

(Note the red scarfs--long one for him, small one for me.  I've yet to know why they were used.)

Like most things we do together, it was fun. :)

our taiwanese wedding banquet

So, right after the ceremony, we headed over to a large Chinese restaurant for the wedding banquet. 

Law's parents picked out the restaurant, but we were pleasantly surprised that they had chosen a restaurant that was own by a Christan.  Very cool!!

Here are some of the banquet highlights:

• Before the whole thing started we (the bridal party) were ushered into a little room for a small rest.  This was very nice.

• We were then introduced and entered the banquet hall.
  

• There were 27 tables at our wedding, which means 270 people.   (Ten people per table is the traditional standard. You tell others how many were at your wedding by telling them how many tables there were.)

• 270 people at a wedding banquet is not considered a large wedding.  Small to medium at best.  I've been to one with 100 tables--that's 1000 people!!

• Also, just FYI, only about 80 people attended both the church ceremony and the wedding banquet.  Many just showed up for the banquet, some were only able to attend the ceremony only, and students were invited to ceremony only.  So, less than a third of the people at the banquet had been at the ceremony.

• After the formal introduction, we sat at the head table at the front with parents, and uncles (and their wives).
  

• After the first dish or so was served, we went "on stage" with his parents
  and my best friend's father, Lin BaBa, who stood in as my "Taiwan
  father." (I love how the two dads seems as if they are standing at attention.)
  

• We toasted everyone (using cranberry juice, interesting to me since in the States we probably would have used grape juice).
  

• Law and I then did the "couple entwined armed" toast together. :)
  
  

• After a few more dishes, we sang a Karaoke song together.  The only love song I know in Chinese is "The Moon Represents My Heart," so that is what we sang! :)
  

• Then he had to "wei wa" wine.  "wei" means to feed someone
  something--kinda like a mother bird feeds her baby chicks (and "wa" means "me").  SO . . . he first had to put the wine into his mouth and then
  "pour" it into mine. All I could think about was "don't you dare get any
  on my dress!" :)
  



• Soon after that the two of us toasted the main family table--parents and uncles.
  

• Next, his parents, Lin Baba (my adopted Taiwanese dad), and Big Uncle joined us as we toasted each table.  Waitresses guided us through the entire room, and followed us making sure we all had full glasses.
  

• There were several other Karaoke songs sung.
  

• Law's parents decided on all the dishes that were served.  There was a lot of seafood.  I ate little, and appreciate the photos people took of the meal since I didn't get to see it all.
  

• When Law's brother and his girlfriend wanted to sing a song, Law "punked" them by making them kiss for a long time.  They "punked" him back by making us show him how . . . so we kissed for 9 seconds--the whole room helped keep count. "9" in Chinese is pronounced "joe" which is the same pronuncation of "long."
  

• After a bit more eating and Karaoke, we stood at the door kinda like a receiving line, passing out candy and photos to our guests.
  

• Some of our good friends stayed a bit longer, and so we took a few more photos together.
  

• Then finally we left . . . .
  

• YAY!!  Weddings OVER!!!! :)

after the ceremony

Traditionally family photos are taken after weddings in Taiwan.  Traditionally the bride and groom sit down front and center, and the most important people in the family then sit beside them.  With others filling in behind. 

They usually look something like this:

or like this:

At the church weddings I've been to here in Taiwan.  After the family photos there is then time for photos with different groups of classmates and friends.  Bride and groom stay put, guests fill in the spaces and photos are taken.

For a plethora of reasons (namely we are fun-loving Lawrance and Amanda, our photograph liked to have fun, and we were a bit rushed for time) our group photo shots are a bit more . . . um  . . .  well . . .  "lively" than your typical Taiwanese wedding. :) 

See for yourself in another slideshow from Abu's photos below:

photos from our ceremony

Here is another slideshow of Abu's photos; this time from the ceremony.

Here are some of the highlights:

• Before the ceremony started, Lawrance lowered my veil.


• Seating of the family included his maternal grandmother, "big uncle" and aunt, and his mom


• His dad walked me down the aisle.


• We had two missionary friends officiate--Mike (from America) and Jonathan (from Malaysia)


• I choose to walk 7 circles around Lawrance at the beginning of the ceremony (a Jewish tradition symbolizing that, as his wife, my life revolves around his)


• Then, he rolled the veil (again, I wanted to see during the 2 hour ceremony, but I knew the veil was important to him)


• During the charge to the couple, Mike shared the Gospel clearly and succinctly using a wedding as an analogy.  It was GREAT!!


• We tied the Cord of Three Stands again


• We also washed each others feet (symbolizing servant leadership and mutual submission)


• We used the same vows, but this time we each only used our own heart language


• Lawrance sang a solo to me right after our vows (it was great!!)


• There were five different songs in the middle of the ceremony (so we sat down)


• I cried again during the vows . . . but this time for different reasons. :) 

I fell deeper in love with my husband as a direct result of celebrating our marriage in front of new witnesses.   However, I did tell him that although I love him deeply, I will not marry him again. ;)

After we talked, trying to compare our two weddings, Lawrance and I concluded that it must be kind of like having two children and trying to choose which one you love the most . . . it is impossible.

 

precermony at church

We didn't want to "hide" before the ceremony.  We were already ready; we were already married; we wanted people to know we were glad they were there, so . . . . there was no reason to hide.

The hardest part of standing out and greeting people was helping my groom let go of his wedding planning role and just relax and be in the moment.

And . . . . to answer yesterdays question . . .
Great guesses with an Asian focus!! :)  But, all wrong . . . I was told that in Taiwan rain on a wedding day indicates that when the groom was a child he used the bathroom outdoors.  I thought that was funny since I thought most little boys have done so. :)

And now for a few photos that Abu took before the ceremony started.  Mostly they are just us with friends and family.

groom gets the bride

Most Taiwanese grooms go to the bride's home to "get her."  Usually the bride's sisters and friends make it difficult on him by playing tricks on him. 

Since the three bridesmaids and I needed to start getting ready at 5 AM, we decided that it would be best for all the girls to say here and for Lawrance and his brother to come and "get us" just like tradition.  However, unlike tradition, my friends were nice to Lawrance. :)

It was raining, so we decided to use my paper umbrella, which is an icon of his mother's hometown (which is also the first city I lived in when I first moved to Taiwan six years ago).  It was the first time my paper umbrella had seen rain. :)

Although unpleasant, the rain provided for some neat photos. 

In American folklore, rain on a wedding day means good luck.  Do you know what it means in Taiwanese folklore?  Guess in the comments and I'll tell you what I was told is the answer in my next post.

Enjoy another flickr slideshow of Abu's photos.

getting ready for the taiwanese wedding

There are so many great photos, I don't know which ones to share first . . . so I'm just going to share them all.  Here is a flickr slideshow of our photographer friend's, Abu's, photos.

The three girls in purple are my bridesmaids: Ellen, best friend and previous college roommate, have known her since 1997.  Kady, former coworker and office mate, very special friend since I moved here in 2003.  And, Cindy, my future sister-in-law, she is my husband's brother's girlfriend (maybe they will wed next year!!). :)

The woman dressed in purple but not in a "bridesmaids dress" is also a very special friend of mine.  Her name is Corrina.  I've known her since 1999, when she became my long-lost big sister.  She is also the one who introduced me to Lawrance . . . I probably owe her my firstborn child she's done so much for me.

Corrina got her sister-in-law to come do our hair and make-up.  She did an awesome job and also loaned us all the hair stuff and the veil too.  She also was the one who brought the bouquets, bouts, and corsages for us.  All I did was provide photos of what I was wanting with the directions of "please use purple and no roses" . . . what she brought was better than any of the photos I sent.

God is kind. :)

 

our taiwanese wedding . . . a quick synopsis

Our Taiwanese Wedding ceremony and banquet was on Saturday! Today is Monday . . . I am still tired beyond all get out.

Our
rehearsal ran late, and the bridesmaids all stayed in my home for the
night . . . so we didn't get to bed till 1 or 2. Then we were back up
at 5 for make up and getting dressed.

Groom and groomsman arrived to pick us up at 8:20 (Taiwanese tradition), and it was RAINING!! :)

Before
the ceremony started we stood at the door and greeted our guests for
about 30 minutes or so. We had lots of people call or text to say they
weren't coming because of the rain. However, still so many of our friends and loved ones braved the rain to come celebrate with us.  We were and are SO grateful!!

The
church ceremony was 2 hours long (I've been told that's about average for a Taiwanese church wedding).  In addition to the vows, and charge, and unity ceremonies, it included seven songs that were song and two that were played by instruments (trumpet and flute), in addition to the bridal procession and recession.  So, we had a mini-concert in the middle of our wedding.  I was worried about it being too much and too long, but having our close friends and church family bless us with song was GREAT and made me cry. 

Oh yeah . . . .and one of those songs was a solo from my hubby to me!!!  It was SUCH a BEAUTIFUL SONG . . . and he sang it SO beautifully (if I do say so myself).   Every time he practiced it, I cried, but at the actual wedding I made it through his song without crying.

After the ceremony, we took pictures with different guests for about 45 minutes (mostly students that wouldn't be attending the banquet). Then we
took off to the banquet--got there at 12:15 and most all of the guests
were already there. All the banquet activity started at about 12:30ish.

Then
for the next three hours there was loud karaoke and a huge feast. We
sang a song together in Mandarin (the only love song I know in Chinese). We toasted each table one by one.  That's 27 tables and about 27,000 thank yous.  

One
traditional thing that I did not do was change dresses three (or more) times. They
do this to "show off the beauty of the bride." They rent the dresses
from a wedding photo store, but since I had purchased my dress from
America, I didn't need to rent a wedding dress. So we choose to keep
things a bit more simple, and I just wore my own wedding dress the
entire banquet, which also means I actually got to eat and enjoy all
the karaoke. :)

After all the feasting and toasting and singing,
we stood by the door and said goodbye to our guests passing out candy
from special baskets--one was the basket his mom used at her wedding
and the other one was made by his grandfather many years ago.

We
must have literally taken over a thousand photos. But, so far we only have a few
that our friends have posted online. I'll share more as we have them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's it for now . . . .

All in all it was a GREAT day. . . . a long, exhausting day . . . but VERY wonderful too. :) 

(I "stole" some of these photos from Sandy, who blogs here.  Sorry and thanks, Sandy!!)