After dating for nearly two months, Lawrance had still not held my hand–or even really touched me for that matter. I knew he had drawn the line for physical touch for pre-engagment at only holding hands. And, I knew that our first kiss would be on our wedding day. But, what I didn’t know is when he’d actually start holding my hand. So . . the story below takes place after we’d been “dating with purpose” for about a month and a half. I wrote it originally as an email to my mom, sister, and a few close friends right after the event.
Sunday night Lawrance and I went on a picnic with Gilby. We went to a park near my home right at sunset. He found a place to eat, and we sat there for a long time. Eating and talking. Gilby was getting anxious, so we stood up and got him to some grass. Finally, he (Lawrance, not Gilby) asked if I’d like to walk along side the river that runs into the harbor.
When he first suggested this park earlier in the week I actually thought that this would be a good time to hold
hands. And, I’d even thought about telling him that he didn’t have to “trick me” into
holdinghands (like his brother had suggested); all he had to do was ask for my hand, and I would give it to him, but that I’d wait till he was ready . . . he would have to be the one to initiate. I’d even practiced this little speech in my head.
So . . .we walk. I make sure that my hand next to him is free (leash in other hand, purse on other shoulder). We walked this way all the way to the end. For, oh, about 30 minutes. He kept taking his hand in and out of his pocket as we walked. When we turned around at the end I thought “ok, I’m ready to give my speech now.” I didn’t want to pressure him; I just wanted him to know it was ok with me–hoping to take away some of the pressure.
So, we reach the end, and as I’m switching purse and leash (to once again make sure the hand next to his is empty), I look down and he offers me his hand. Before I took it, I looked at him to double check if it was ok. He just smiled, and I took it. I can’t tell you how sweet it was. So gentle of him to do it this way.
I told him I was about ready to tell him he could have it if only he’d ask for it. He told me that he’d been thinking and thinking about how to do it and when to do it and where to do it. He wanted it to be just right. Well, if I do say so myself, he did a good job of making it “just right.”
Later, as the evening came to an end. He told me, “today is a big day.” And, I was like “really? why?” And he said, “because today is the first day I held your hand.” It was so sweet. He is so sweet.
So . . . a month and a half into dating, and he finally holds my hand. Although not easy, it was worth waiting for.
Talking about the topic of “marriage” with students here in Taiwan always makes me just a little bit sad.
Us with Corrina, our matchmaker, after our Taiwanese ceremony
Yu-Hong and Cindy
