let's be honest

I am the kinda gal that makes tons and tons of goals and lists.  I analyze.  I plot.  I plan.  I have great intentions for wonderful things. 

But . . . you see, I am a "SHE"--a Sidetracked Home Executive (and I don't even have others to manage, just me) [see flylady for more info on SHEs].

I struggle with perfectionism.  So, really this means I have really high expectations but they end there.  My list gets lost, forgotten or just plain ignored.  The first tiny inclination of possible failure (keep in mind we are not even talking actual failure here) sends me running for the whiteout, eraser, delete key.  I want to hide the fact that I am not perfect--even from myself.

I love the way Blair keeps track of all her goals with weekly and quarterly assessments.  How smart!  How brave!  I would never dare to that in public because I fear failure; and, I just am not that brave.

I look back at 2006, and am a little sad that I let the tyranny of the urgent take place over the things I truly value.  So, unlike last year, this year I made a list of 85 specific and measurable things I'd like to see happen in 2007.

I not ready to share my 85 things list, but here are some basic themes--by God's grace--I want to make a priority for 2007:

1. Scripture Memory
   I hope to memorize these verses in Chinese and begin working on memorizing an entire chapter, possibly a book in English.
   _



2. Systematically Reading thru Scripture
   I can't decide if I am going to read it chronologically thru the year or from cover to cover in 90 days.  (I am going to try for the last one, but if I get too far behind, go with the first one.  Is that good or bad that I've already created a safety-net for possible failure?)
   _



3. Sharing the Good News
   I want Jesus to be a natural part of my daily conversations.
   _



4. Reclaiming my Health
   By the end of 2007, I would love to have my PCOS under-control, which includes some lifestyle changes.
   _



5. Reclaiming my Home
   I have let clutter pile up and keep me from enjoying my study and kitchen.  I want these rooms back.  I will be using flylady's routines to help me babystep my way back into a home I can enjoy.
   _



6. Studying Language
   I really, really want to study Taiwanese conversation.  I also would like to take some formal Mandarin classes--I haven't done that in 7 years now.
   _



7. Relationships
   Living alone allows me to become quite self-centered.  I want to be better about calling my family and friends in America as well as making an effort to be a better friend to those around me here (I could start by being better about answering my phone).
    _



8. Doing New Things
   Whether that is finishing things I started years ago and haven't finished or trying something new that I have always wanted to but just didn't dare--I am going to make an effort to try them (again) this year.

This year I plan to do things 15 minutes at a time.  I want to
quit letting perfectionism and the the lack there of paralyze me from
doing the things I long to do.  I am going to live in grace.  I have
lived too long not realizing grace was for believers too!!

I long to be a girl after God's own heart.  I long to know Him and make Him known.  I long to share with the Taiwanese people just how great a God He is.  I long to see the Taiwanese people worship Him in joy and expectation!  I want His reknown and glory to the be the foundation for all I do.

For more New Year Meditations stop by Laurel Wreath.