Thanks to Marianne for sharing this beautiful song entitled 33 by Corrinne May.
Corrinne, new-to-me muscian, grew up in Singapore; she wrote this song as she reflected on turning 33.
praying for baby ethan
One of my sister's bridesmaids and dear friends from college is in need of prayer for her and her growing family.
Kasey and Adam's 11 week old son, Ethan, has been diagnosed with a rare form of Leukemia. Ethan has started chemotherapy treatments in hopes of helping his spleen return to a normal size and get his little body ready for a bone marrow transplant.
Kasey and Adam are placing their faith in Christ alone. I invite you to pray for baby Ethan, as well as for his mommy and daddy.
amanda is ok too
Thank you to all of you who inquired about me and (as eija put it) my "bday funk."
I'll get totally honest here for a minute and explain my more cryptic statement from the original post the day after my birthday. This one:
The center of the matter is that I was turning 30 and still single. I've seen all kinds of "mommy blogs" in the past few months where women turning 30 talked about how blessed they were with their loving husbands and cute kids treating them so special on their big day.
Many people are quick to remind me that "yes, you're single but look at how God is using you." But, there are also married women who are thirty years old with several children who are overseas missionaries too. This position is not limited to single women.
Although VERY well meaning . . . comments like that only feed one of the myths we single women are led to believe: "God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child."
See, the problem on my 30th birthday was this: my eyes were one me. "Why so downcast, O, my soul?" Because I was not placing my hope where it should rightly be. And, honestly, I didn't want to either--I wanted to "just this once have the right to be discontent."
Praise the Lord for being quick to forgive!
And, praise Him too for, once again, placing a song in my heart! :)
I'll get totally honest here for a minute and explain my more cryptic statement from the original post the day after my birthday. This one:
See, it is not really turning 30 that bothered me. I have been feeling older (especially with my knee giving me trouble, but more about that on another day), but I don't feel "old" yet.
It is so easy to become envious of others . . . it is so easy to see
what I think I lack . . . it is so easy to be selfish . . . it is so
easy to sin. Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
The center of the matter is that I was turning 30 and still single. I've seen all kinds of "mommy blogs" in the past few months where women turning 30 talked about how blessed they were with their loving husbands and cute kids treating them so special on their big day.
Many people are quick to remind me that "yes, you're single but look at how God is using you." But, there are also married women who are thirty years old with several children who are overseas missionaries too. This position is not limited to single women.
Although VERY well meaning . . . comments like that only feed one of the myths we single women are led to believe: "God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child."
People have often told me, "God has allowed you to be single so youMy comfort in being 30 and still single can not come from whether or not "God is using me." It must come from who He is . . . God of all creation, the Author of my life's story, the One who clears this unknown path I am walking on. My comfort and hope must come only from trusting the One who is eternally both all-good and all-powerful.
might do these things for Him!" While I know these people are seeking
to encourage me, my gut reaction is, Why me? It's true that God may set us apart for a season of singleness, but that doesn't mean He is indifferent to our dreams.
Matthew 7:11
says, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts
to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good
gifts to those who ask him!" God views you a cherished child — never a
utilitarian object. A loving Father will give you good gifts at just
the right time.
See, the problem on my 30th birthday was this: my eyes were one me. "Why so downcast, O, my soul?" Because I was not placing my hope where it should rightly be. And, honestly, I didn't want to either--I wanted to "just this once have the right to be discontent."
Praise the Lord for being quick to forgive!
And, praise Him too for, once again, placing a song in my heart! :)
Well I wanna thank you now
For being patient with me
Oh it's so hard to see
When my eyes are on me
I guess I'll have to trust
And just believe what you say
(This is the chorus of the awesome song "Make My Life a Prayer" by Keith Green, one of my all time favorite musicians.)
mr. gibs is ok
Just wanted to tell you that my little dog with many nicknames* is doing ok.The bruise on his leg has cleared up very well, and he seems to be doing just fine.
I've not yet taken him out around mopeds, so I'm not exactly sure what his reaction will be now. He was already scared of them to begin with, so . . .
Anyway, thanks to all of you who've been asking about him. I appreciate it. :)
*Gilby answers to "shiao bye" (little white), "shiao Gil" (little Gil), "Que-Be," Mr. Gibs, and of course Gilby. Why he has so many nicknames I have no idea! But, he does, and he doesn't seem to mind. Oh, maybe I do know why . . . . he is Taiwanese!! :D (Just in case you don't know . . . Taiwanese people all have many nicknames. A Taiwanese person with no nickname is someone with no friends.)
fighting for joy and sampling infinity
It is good for our days to remind us that we are a small dot on the
landscape of time, and that eternity holds the sweeping brush strokes
of a masterwork of which we, at present, are only catching glimpses.
. . . God is real and wondrous, the Spirit instructs us in all knowledge and
wisdom, and Christ is both present and coming, calling us further up
and farther in to his kingdom. The thoughts of God are well beyond our
own. All of creation declares the glory and power of its creator. And
we are at present only sampling infinity.
-- Jill Carattini of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries
Yesterday morning I had to fight for joy. I had to seek to continually remind myself that it's not about me.
When the CD player didn't work for my listening class . . . when the room was sticky hot with humidity and an AC that didn't work . . . when a student accidently stepped on my foot bending the nail on my big toe backwards spilling blood everywhere . . . when I left my whimpering dog alone at home . . . when my office was in an upheaval of rearranging all the funiture while I needed to prepare for class . . . when I thought of home . . . when I wanted to have a pity party. Oh, how I wanted to feel sorry for myself!
But . . . reality is: it is not about me. I am but a "small dot on the landscape of time." All day long I was faced with the same choice over and over again . . . to wallow in self-pity or choose joy.
It is so easy to become envious of others . . . it is so easy to see
what I think I lack . . . it is so easy to be selfish . . . it is so
easy to sin. Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.
Praise God that he is merciful and gracious! Unlike my 16th birthday where I did choose to wallow in self-pity throwing an emotional hissy-fit when I thought that the world should be revolving around me and it wasn't . . . yesterday I fought to choose joy. I still look at the pictures of that 16 year old with her purple braces and purple silk shirt similng at the camera holding up her purple birthday gifts and all I remember from that day is my own depravity and self-centeredness. Oh, how selfcentered and selfish I was on my 16th birthday!
The morning of my 30th birthday wasn't easy. Tears were spilled . . . more than once. I had to heavily rely upon the grace and goodness of our Lord to empower me to be able to keep a positive attitude. I depended greatly on the Spirit bringing to mind scripture in order to keep my heart pure. Cuz, oh, it sure didn't want to be on it's own.
Praise God for His unfailing love and tender mercies!! He is so kind.
Things got a little better in the afternoon and ended on a very sweet note . . . more about that later. :)
Although, in recent days, I've felt old for the first time in my life (is that because my students are no longer in the same generation as me??), I am thankful for the reminder yesterday that I am but only "sampling infinity."
today
Today I turn 30.
How am I celebrating you ask . . . I'm not. I have 8 hours of classes spread out from 8am to 9pm, so I will be at school all day. Fun, right?
Last night, Gilby's leash got run over by a moped, which means he was pulled/dragged for a little while. He is ok. A little bruised and I assume sore, but ok. He moves slower than usual and clings to me. I don't want to leave him alone all day today, but I have to.
Maybe later I'll come back and add to this post to make it a little less depressing, but for now . . . well, it's how I feel.
How am I celebrating you ask . . . I'm not. I have 8 hours of classes spread out from 8am to 9pm, so I will be at school all day. Fun, right?
Last night, Gilby's leash got run over by a moped, which means he was pulled/dragged for a little while. He is ok. A little bruised and I assume sore, but ok. He moves slower than usual and clings to me. I don't want to leave him alone all day today, but I have to.
Maybe later I'll come back and add to this post to make it a little less depressing, but for now . . . well, it's how I feel.
at the GuGong
I got to go back to the GuGong (aka National Palace Museum) this past week! It was maybe my 14th or 15th time to visit this great art museum. :)
Taiwan's GuGong is one of the top five museums in the world. I love going there. Each time I go I get to see something new.
This time I got to go with a friend who loves looking at art as much as I do . . . maybe even more! It was wonderful to take a full day just to enjoy beautiful things together. :)
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