the engagement

YuHong and Cindy were engaged on Sunday. This is an official event in Taiwan between the betrothed’s families.

Lawrance's parents with one of the wedding photos at the entry

There are few different ceremonies preformed at the engagement. One ceremony is the presenting of gifts. Here are the “gifts” given from The Wu family to the bride-to-be.


Then Mrs. Wu helped to place the jewelry on her newest daughter-in-law, and Cindy’s mother placed her gifts to her new son-in-law on him.
 

Like at a Taiwanese wedding, the bride and groom to be are presented with their parents to all present.  This is an opportunity to thank the guests who came as well as offer a toast.


In addition there would be a tea ceremony. (But Lawrance didn’t get any photos of that since he was a participant.)  I’ll ask Lawrance more about this, and write about it later.  I’ve actually never seen it done before, only read about it.

And, there is also an entire banquet feast as well.  But, the groom-to-be’s family slips out before the dessert is served.  Neither Lawrance nor I know why this is the tradition, but it is. :)


And, there is dress changing, toasting table to table, passing out of candy from a basket by the door as well–just like at a wedding.
 

Since Cindy’s family is in Taipei, both sides of Lawrance’s family together took a charted bus to the north.


Newly engaged women also give their friends and family members (on her side of the family) a box of cookies or cakes to help announce the engagement. Here are Cindy’s cakes:


And, here is Lawrance with the happy couple!


Since traditionally the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, Lawrance and I didn’t have a Taiwanese style engagement ceremony.  I actually think that is one of the reasons why Lawrance’s parents so freely let the two of us get married in my hometown with my friends and family–in their minds it was similar to the bride’s hosting of the engagement ceremony.

holding hands

After dating for nearly two months, Lawrance had still not held my hand–or even really touched me for that matter.  I knew he had drawn the line for physical touch for pre-engagment at only holding hands.  And, I knew that our first kiss would be on our wedding day.  But, what I didn’t know is when he’d actually start holding my hand.  So . .  the story below takes place after we’d been “dating with purpose” for about a month and a half.  I wrote it originally as an email to my mom, sister, and a few close friends right after the event.

Sunday night Lawrance and I went on a picnic with Gilby.  We went to a park near my home right at sunset.  He found a place to eat, and we sat there for a long time.  Eating and talking.  Gilby was getting anxious, so we stood up and got him to some grass.  Finally, he (Lawrance, not Gilby) asked if I’d like to walk along side the river that runs into the harbor.

When he first suggested this park earlier in the week I actually thought that this would be a good time to hold hands. And, I’d even thought about telling him that he didn’t have to “trick me” into holdinghands (like his brother had suggested); all he had to do was ask for my hand, and I would give it to him, but that I’d wait till he was ready . . . he would have to be the one to initiate.  I’d even practiced this little speech in my head.

So . . .we walk.  I make sure that my hand next to him is free (leash in other hand, purse on other shoulder).  We walked this way all the way to the end.  For, oh, about 30 minutes.  He kept taking his hand in and out of his pocket as we walked.  When we turned around at the end I thought “ok, I’m ready to give my speech now.”  I didn’t want to pressure him; I just wanted him to know it was ok with me–hoping to take away some of the pressure.

So, we reach the end, and as I’m switching purse and leash (to once again make sure the hand next to his is empty), I look down and he offers me his hand.  Before I took it, I looked at him to double check if it was ok.  He just smiled, and I took it.  I can’t tell you how sweet it was.  So gentle of him to do it this way.

I told him I was about ready to tell him he could have it if only he’d ask for it.  He told me that he’d been thinking and thinking about how to do it and when to do it and where to do it.  He wanted it to be just right.  Well, if I do say so myself, he did a good job of making it “just right.”

Later, as the evening came to an end.  He told me, “today is a big day.”  And, I was like “really?  why?”  And he said, “because today is the first day I held your hand.”  It was so sweet.  He is so sweet.

So . . . a month and a half into dating, and he finally holds my hand.  Although not easy, it was worth waiting for.

making pizza in taiwan

wuhoo! it's wu family pizza :)

If anyone asks Lawrance what his favorite food to eat that Amanda makes is, he answers enthusiastically “pizza!”

Taiwanese people who hear this answer assume it would be a common answer since of course all Americans eat is pizza and hamburgers.  But, the looks on some of the American’s faces have been precious. Most assume he has misunderstood the question since it would seem very difficult to make pizza in Taiwan. Then once they realize he totally understood, and I do make pizza here, they want to know how.

Actually making pizza in Taiwan is quite easy. I get both my pizza sauce and crust at a “local” bakery supply store called Wang Lai; it is about a 45 minute ride from our home by moped. I’m sure other bakery supply stores probably also sell pizza sauce and crust–I know the “pineapple man store” in Kaohsiung does too. The small jar of sauce pictured below is our favorite and will cover about 10-12 small pizzas.

The pizza cheese (mozzarella) can be found at the bakery store too, and sometimes we are able to find it at our local grocery store as well. It’s not cheap, but frozen the cheese will keep awhile and this one bag will last us about 16 small pizzas.

products we use to make our pizza

In addition to the cheese, we top our pizzas with ground beef or pork that I have seasoned generously with Italian seasoning that we can get at Costco (thanks Larina!!) and Tony’s that I carry back from the States. We also typically top it with yellow and red peppers, onions, and for Lawrance’s pizza frozen corn (that I purchased at the bakery store too–just for his pizzas).

I then bake them two at a time at 160c for about 10 minutes on our nifty pizza pan that was wedding gift from Sarah and Kevin (thanks guys!!).

a sprinkle of cheese, then they are ready to be baked

Like the Americans who hear Lawrance’s answer, I had always assumed that making pizza (in Taiwan) would be hard. I guess if I had to make the crust and sauce from scratch that would totally up the difficulty factor making it a very special, rare treat. But, the way I do it right now takes less than 30 minutes from start to finish–that’s faster than ordering from Pizza Hut!

I know it is no culinary masterpiece, but I share this here because I am constantly searching for how to easily make things both Lawrance and I enjoy eating, and I thought others who live in Taiwan might be too.

"pizza without corn just isn't real pizza" --Lawrance

be an advocate for marriage

And to those of you who are happily married, I encourage you to be an advocate for marriage.  There are four ways off the top of my head I can think of that would be a great way to be an advocate for marriage.

1. We hear so many people griping and complaining about marriage–the very gift extended singles are longing for.  We need to also hear validation from those who’ve already been given the gift of marriage that it is indeed a good gift.  Of course, this must be done with care and sensitivity–but I don’t think in all the years I longed to be married that seeing couples in love and enjoying their married life ever hurt, not once.  It might have increased the desire, but it always served to push me closer to the cross.

2. In addition, you can explicitly encourage those who aren’t longing for marriage, to consider marriage and maintain hope.  I had a very sweet friend who was also an extended single that emailed a year into her new marriage and asked me how I was doing in regards to desire for marriage.  At that time my desires for marriage were just beginning to surface, her questions and encouragement had perfect timing.  Her love story, her love for her marriage, and hearing her say “you know it’s ok to admit you want to get married” were SUCH a blessing.

3. You can also explicitly encourage those who think they are unsuitable to be married for whatever lame lie(s) they are believing, to consider  marriage.  Just like Corrina did for Lawrance–he thought marriage was a slight possibility for him but a LONG way down the road.  He had no idea what God had in store for him.  Even if you don’t have someone in mind for that person, I still think challenging that kind of person to reconsider and encouraging them to consider marriage is a good thing. Lawrance would totally agree. ;)

4. Ask for permission to prayerfully “be on the look out” for your single friends, and then don’t be afraid to prayerfully and wisely offer suggestions for matches.  Because we are so thankful for what Corrina did for us, we often ask our single Christian friends if it would be ok if we helped them be on the look out.  We’ve even tried to set up double date–with permission from both sides, with all parties knowing what’s going on.  We’ve not “made a match” yet, but not once has ANY of our single friends said “no, please don’t help me look.”

matchmaker wanted

After writing yesterday’s memory, I just wanted to encourage those of you who are in the midst of extend singleness and longing to get married to consider asking close friends and family for help.

Let them know of your desires to be married, let them pray with you and for you, and let them keep their eyes open too.

According the National Marriage Project:

The most likely way to find a future marriage partner is through an introduction by family, friends or acquaintances. Despite the romantic notion that people meet and fall in love through chance or fate, the evidence suggests that social networks are important in bringing together individuals of similar interests and backgrounds, especially when it comes to selecting a marriage partner. According to a large-scale national survey of sexuality, almost 60 percent of married people were introduced by family, friends, co-workers or other acquaintances.

I know I didn’t ask and wouldn’t have asked anyone and everyone to help me find a husband.  But, if you have godly friends who love you and love the Lord, ask for help.  It is not shameful to get help in finding a husband or wife.  And, if that is the way God chooses to bring a marriage partner into your life . . . it will be an amazing blessing to both you and to them!

Candice Waters has this to say about giving others criteria for what you are looking for when asking others to “be on the look out for you” as you search for a marriage partner:

. . . the point is that having someone ask questions on your behalf ahead of time can go a long way to saving you embarrassment, guarding your heart and protecting your time.
It’s a concept similar to the pre-screening efforts used in business settings — especially employment placement. It’s simply a matter of helping someone who wants to help you have a better sense of what’s really helpful. Rather than mumbling “ah, great,” when someone says, “I have the perfect person in mind for you!” — especially if that person doesn’t know you that well, or you them — you can feel confident letting them know more about what your hopes are.

If they really want to help you, ask if you can give them more detail — a better sense of what God is revealing to you to look for in a mate. If they’re on board, be willing to let them know what your “must-haves” are (e.g., must be a believer), down to your “nice to haves” (likes to play board games, etc.). Friends and family members who have this kind of information will be empowered to “pre-screen” any potential candidates for you. You’ll be helping them move from good intentions to being an informed advocate.

It’s also a way to remove any sense of obligation you’re tempted to feel when friends and family share leads. What you need are opportunities, not more dead ends. Once they have an objective standard to go by, they can help discern if “good leads” really are.
With some well-informed help from your advisers, and a lot of bold prayer, you’ll be a lot closer to marrying well. . .

Waters has an entire chapter talking about needing a network in her book Get Married: What Women Can Do to Make It Happen.  I highly recommend the book.

the other blog owner

Hi, this is Lawrance Wu, the other owner of this blog. I wanna say hi to every one here. Sorry for being so late to say hello.

Well….my sweet wife, Amanda is going to America. I am a little bit sad (well….sad a lot in fact), but I am also happy that she can have time with her family, enjoy her favorite Mexican food…etc.

OK….I wanna say…………..Amanda, I LOVE YOU and I’LL MISS YOU here………..

two years ago

Two years ago  . . . on January 15, 2008  . . . a very dear friend of ours, had lunch with Lawrance and asked him to consider asking me out.  That night he did.

We know that our Loving Heavenly Father is the ultimate matchmaker, but we are BOTH so very grateful to our friend Corrina helping (ok, begging) Lawrance to consider Amanda as a potential partner.

You see, Corrina was special.  Unlike many other people I’d share my longings to be married with, Corrina wouldn’t promise me that “one day I’d find someone.”  She never spouted out trite phrases in an effort to comfort me and then change the topic.  Nor did she, as some actually did, tell me that I was better off single because I had more freedom and could do as I pleased.

Instead, Corrina would look at me and say, “I want you to be married too.  Marriage is so good.  You’d love it so much.”

She delighted in her own marriage and felt free to share that delight with me a hurting single.  It wasn’t bragging.  It didn’t hurt me more.  In fact, it was truly comforting because she was longing for me right along side me.  Empathizing.

After one night of some deep empathy and tears, I openly asked Corrina for help.  “If you know anyone who you think might make a good husband for me, please introduce us.”

Her reply that night (Jan. 14, 2008) was “Amanda, I think you need to go to a bigger church.  Go out, meet more people.”  But that night after I left, her heart was heavy as she prayed to God for me asking for wisdom in how to help her friend.

The next day . . . totally unplanned, she bumped into and then had lunch with Lawrance, and half way through, she suddenly thought “ah ha, it’s you!”

The rest is history.  Blissful, beautiful history. :)

Us with Corrina, our matchmaker, after our Taiwanese ceremony