the everyday stuff

Cultural differences come in all shapes and sizes.  And, one of my favorite cultural differences is keys (I've blogged about them before).  They are so different here.  My first apartment had a "treasure chest" key that I thought was awesome, now our new apartment has a "retractable key" that also has a "treasure chest" key  feel to it and it's super long.  The round gray disk attached to the key allows me to enter our apartment complex's main door, our building's door within the complex  and access the elevator.  Without that gray disk, the elevator will not budge.



The two cards in this photo are also apart of my daily life now.  The bottom one is an subway card--we add money to it, and then zap it when entering and leaving the subway stations, and the cost of the fare for the ride is taken off our card's value.  The top one is a magnetic pre-paid card that I can use to buy train tickets with without having to use coins at a ticket vending machine (pictured below).  If you use one of these pre-paid cards, just remember to always take it from the machine when you leave--sadly, I can give this piece of advice from personal experience to the contrary. :(

infant potty training

My mother-in-law told me this past weekend  that all three of her kids shared one cloth diaper and that’s the only diaper she ever needed.  She went on to tell me that she started potty training all of her kids on day three.  Meaning that when they were three days old she started potty training them!

At first I was shocked.  Sounds impossible.  But, then I started asking questions and talking to Lawrance more about it.  Then of course I had to google it.

Here is what I found:

Throughout much of the non-Western world, infant toilet training is the norm. In India, China, Southeast Asia, Eastern Europe, the arctic, and parts of Africa and Latin America, parents leave baby bottoms uncovered (Boucke 2003; Sonna 2006; deVries and deVries 1977).

Diapers are considered unnecessary-—even disgusting. When babies have to pee or poop, parents hold them over a preferred target (e.g., a toilet, an outdoor latrine, or simply open ground) until business is done.

How do parents know when their babies need to go? By paying close attention. In these “bare-bottom” cultures, babies spend much of their days being carried around. Mom learns to read her baby’s cues. And-—eventually—-baby learns to hesitate until Mom gives her the “okay”-—usually signaled by a special vocalization, like “sheee-sheee” or “shuuuus” (Boucke 2003; deVries and deVries 1977).

Sometimes called “elimination communication,” this method is now being adopted by some parents in the United States and other Western countries.

There is also a pdf that talks more about “Potty Training” in China, where she gives the four basic steps to get started with training an infant to go where you want them to go.

The authors also state that parents in China can potty train their child so young because “there is an elimination awareness ’window of learning’ open from birth to about 6 months of age. If parents tap into this sensitive period, they generally have good results with toilet training.”

So, perhaps it’s not as shocking as I thought it was.  But one thing for sure is that it takes LOTS of time on the part of the caregiver (ie. mommy or, in many cases in Taiwan, grandma).  It depends on the caregiver always being near the child and being very vigilant about “reading” and “learning” the child’s signals.

And, it might be labor intensive, time consuming, and at times messy for mom, but it sure has other benefits too.  Just to start, think of all the money saved on diapers!

There is also a special way to hold a baby or young one over a toilet–made easier if you are using a squatty potty.  Many in Taiwan also let their children go outside over a drain.

And, in case your wondering, the vocalizations used here in Taiwan for “elimination communication” are a gentle, breathy whistle or a “shuuu, shuuu” sound for peeing and grunting sounds like “unh, unh” for pooing.

Here’s a CNN video of American parents using this concept:

I give props to my mother-in-law for her labor-intensive, money-saving way to raise my husband.  I’m impressed!  It becomes even more impressive when I realized she had three under three and used this method with all three of them!  She’s amazing!

of leaves and grass

The summer of 1997 was my first time to see someone drinking tea with leaves.  The leaves were literally bursting forth from this man’s paper cup, and it kinda freaked me out a bit.

I also remember that my surprise at the leaves in his glass of tea amused all my adult students.  How on earth had this silly girl made it through 19 years of life without realizing that tea came from actual leaves?

For several of the years between 1997 and now, I adopted the attitude of sure you go ahead and have your leaves in your tea.  If you offer me some, I’ll drink it, but please just the tea. :)  But, this summer I got really excited when Lawrance bought me a special thermos for brewing tea leaves in.  So, I can have my tea with leaves and drink it easily too.

When I first tried jasmine tea (also back in 1997), I thought it tasted exactly like what soap should taste like.  Now, Lawrance and I also keep a pitcher of cold brewed jasmine green tea in our fridge. (Although, admittedly, the green tea helps with the soap flavor issues of pure jasmine tea.)


And, my newest thing is that I love lemongrass tea.  It is so wonderful!  I could drink it all day long!!  Corrina, our neighbor, friend, and matchmaker, gave Lawrance a lemongrass plant for his birthday.  What she didn’t know is that she was really giving it it me! :D  (Lawrance’s interest in finding the plant was to help me get one.  She didn’t know that; all she knew was that Lawrance wanted some lemongrass.)

Anywho, for two weeks now, I’ve been able to make my own lemongrass tea.  I step out onto our laundry porch (balcony), cut some grass, clean it, and then let it boil for a few minutes in our wok.



As I stood there yesterday, watching my leaves of grass boil filling our home with the oh so refreshing scent of lemongrass, I couldn’t help but think of how much as changed in the past 13 years.

What once shocked me is now commonplace.

What once took me by surprise is now normal.

And, this of course, made me marvel at God’s kindness.

a wedding–prepping the home

Our Easter Sunday this year was a little different–we were privileged to attend Lawrance’s brother’s wedding.
It started with us going back to Lawrance’s childhood home to help the family prepare for receiving the bride.

The groom, YuHong, had shaved his head into the shape of a heart. 

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The groom showed us his transformed childhood home into a room to welcome a bride.  He was proud.
Placed on all the items were little red circles with the “double joy” wedding symbol inside.
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Traditionally children are to jump on the new couple’s bed in order to ensure lots of children.  They substituted with a small bride and groom statue decked out in traditional Chinese wedding clothes.

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Another new-to-me superstition was that a bride is not to look at herself in the mirror (don’t remember why, will have to ask). However, it really isn’t followed not, but in honor of that tradition YuHong covered the mirror in the bedroom with red paper.

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Double Joys were everywhere–even the front door. And they will stay there till ?? (not sure–a year? till Chinese New Year? till they fall off?).

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This wedding banner was placed over the household entrance. I think it is religious, but I don’t know more than that.

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TongYuan also needed to be prepared. So, Lawrance, the awesome tongyan master, lent a helping hand.  Why tongyuan at a wedding? Well, sweet sticky dumplings represent sticking together forever, a sweet life, and fullness of blessing.
 
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We also had tea and fruit prepared.  Serving the tea and tongyuan were my job. ;)
 

“tai ke” dance

What started this post was this video posted to facebook by one of my former students.  It was filmed at our school:
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___So, let’s back up a little, first what is 台客 (tai ke)?

This is actually quite difficult to answer.  I’ve heard the term “tai ke” could be likened to the term “redneck” or “white trash.”  Meaning it is a certain subculture that is looked down on by the mainstream culture because of class, economic standing, and/or beliefs.

Lawrance also likened it to the hip hop culture–a subculture that is proud of who they are and where they come from that sets trends in music and clothing.

The New York Times says it is “a phrase that originally meant ‘redneck’ but has now come to encompass a youth-focused lifestyle that celebrates both the déclassé (flip-flops, Long Life cigarettes) and the haute (Gucci, Macallan).”

But, this seemingly simple term for subculture also is seeped in socio-political, historical implications.  Historically, tai ke was “used by those post-1949 mainland Chinese arriving in Taiwan with the KMT regime.”  At that time, “the term connoted ethnic discrimination towards native Taiwanese and was used specifically to articulate perceptions of their unsophisticated outlook and behaviour” (Taike rock and its discontent).

See, literally “tai ke” means “Tai guest.”  So, the mainlanders were calling the Taiwanese and Hakka people who had been on the island longer than them–guests.

But, now, thanks to Wu Bai, who has been called the king of tai ke, and the commercial efforts of music companies, the term’s negative meaning has “been subverted and is now given a positive touch to mean ‘coolness’ and confidence” (East Asian Pop Culture).  Wu Bai sees tai ke as a “direct expression of national culture.”

However, if you ask local Taiwanese people about what is “tai ke” they won’t refer to the historical or political implications.  And, most won’t tell you that it means “cool and confident.”  Instead, they will begin describing stereotypical actions of the people they consider to be “tai ke,” telling you how they drive, speak, and even chew.

Here are some things that are stereotypically thought to be “tai ke”–people who wear white and blue plastic slippers outside, have low education, chew betel nut, smoke and drink heavily, have cheaply dyed golden hair, wear imitation name-brand clothing, and hang out around temples or internet cafes, and participate in temple parades.  There are even more stereotypical characteristics and behaviors; but, more than actions and behavior, being “tai ke” is a possessing a certain attitude.

So, nowadays, telling someone who is not “tai” they are “tai” is meant to be an insult.  It would be like telling someone they have no class or are being disrespectful.  But, those who actually are “tai” find pride in being “tai.”

And, while most people in Taiwan look down on things that are “tai ke,” there is also a sense of pride across Taiwan for some of the things that have come out of the “tai ke” subculture because it is uniquely Taiwanese (This is especially true in southern Taiwan).

“Tai ke wu” is one of these things.

OK. So, that brings us back to what is 台客舞 (tai ke wu)?

It is a group dance–similar to country line dancing in that lines of people do the exact same moves at the same time.  And, that lots of people know how to do the dance.

And, like the fact that the subculture is mostly about a embodying a certain attitude so is the dance.  As I was searching for videos, I saw one Taiwanese celebrity explain that although the foot work is easy, the arm movements and attitude that one has to portray is what makes the dance so special and difficult.

Lawrance pointed out to me that since the dance originated from people who participate in temple parades and hang out at temples, they naturally incorporated certain movements and feeling from temple parade marches that are made when carrying an idol down the street.

There are several videos on youtube showing students doing the “tai ke” dance. Here is what seems like the most watched “tai ke wu” video on youtube.  It starts off as a group dance, but dancers back off one by one because one guy is so much better than the rest.  All the shouts and screams coming from the sidelines are people expressing their admiration for how great he is doing.  This was funny to me at first because originally I thought he was doing a poor job (kinda sloppy on the moves), but the more I learned about tai ke wu the more I realized it was all about embodying a certain attitude–and this guy’s got it.
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___I liked this one that invited their teacher to join in, and she did.  Throughout the video, everyone is impressed with the middle student’s dancing ability–again, she’s got a certain attitude going.
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And finally here is a modified tai ke wu (an aerobic exercise version) on the news . . . with all ages participating and the mayor of Kaohsiung promoting it.  In this video, you can see people in costume dancing as gods on stage–this is what Lawrance was talking about . . . and we’ll get into more in depth tomorrow.
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qing ming jie con’t

After the family had worshiped Law’s paternal grandparents, we all went to the home where Law’s dad was raised.

Honestly, there seemed to be no real purpose for this stop other than to just claim we had stopped by.  However, Lawrance took advantage of the opportunity to find out just how many generations of Wu’s have been in Taiwan.
After counting on the ancestor tablet, Law’s dad found that he is the 10th generation of Wu’s in Taiwan and that Lawrance is the 11th generation.


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After this brief stop, we drove about 5 minutes to a grave area tucked between some fields.

Entrance to the tomb area:

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The tomb area was actually quite large.  It was a two level area.  This photo was taken standing in front of the main “ancestor” structure looking back to the entrance gate.

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Around the outside of the lower area was two tomb like structures.  I assumed these were tombs–Lawrance informed me that these were for the gods who protected the tomb and the spirits of the ancestors.  One was female and the other male.

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Behind this structure there were 120 people buried.

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The people who gathered to worship at the Wu burial site at 10 in the morning were are all part of the Wu family–so they are all distant relatives.  But, for the majority of the people present, Lawrance has no idea how they are related.   Some, who had immigrated to the States, traveled from New York City and some from Colorado just to worship their ancestors.

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A few minutes past 10, incense was passed out and everyone (but Lawrance and I) took some.  Someone at the front prayed aloud for a few minutes, everyone bowed a few times then they went to leave their incense in the front.

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Then they lined up to leave more incense on the “tombs” of the gods who protect the site and the ancestors.

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Then two stacks of paper money were set on fire–one stack for the ancestors and one stack for the gods.

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After all was done, at about 10:20 or 10:30, firecrackers were set off.

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One thing that dawned on me as we were there waiting for the firecrackers to be lit and were conversing with some of Law’s uncles is that even in death the difference between individualism and collectivism can be seen.  In America, we value individualism–being one’s self–we don’t mind doing things alone (ie, it is not necessary to go in a group to get a hair cut).

But, in Taiwan (and many other Asian countries) collectivism is valued–who you are is defined by your relationships.  You aren’t “LeEn;” you are “classmate,” “big sister,” and “wife.”  And, you probably do feel more comfortable if you could go with a group to get a hair cut–why would anyone want to do that alone?

And so those values can also be seen in how the dead are buried.  In America we have graveyards and tombstones for each individual who has lived.  In Taiwan, while I guess there may be some wealthy few who do have their own individual tombs, most are buried in mass graves marked with their family names.

qing ming jie

Last Monday was Qing Ming Jie (清明節), known in English as Tomb Sweeping Day.  If I am remembering correctly, it is the only holiday in Taiwan that is not based on the lunar calendar–here it is observed every April 5th.  But the Wu family observes this holiday a week early.  It was my first time to see a family as they worshiped their ancestors at their tombs.
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We woke up early and were on the road before 7 AM on Sunday, March 28th.  About an hour later, we arrived at the temple that houses the urns of Lawrance’s paternal grandparents.

__It was already quite busy with other families worshiping.

__While waiting for the rest of the family to arrive, I snapped a few photos.  This is a tree that is worshiped right outside the temple.

__Families would start by placing their offerings on the altar.

__Then they would light incense–making sure everyone had at least three.  First, they would bow facing away from the temple–this would be to the worship the “god of heaven.” This here is a photo of our family worshiping.

__Here is what worship to gods and ancestors looks like in Taiwan. This is called “bai bai.”

__Next, they would move to the inside incense holder in front of the “main god” of the temple to worship. This might also be one of the only times an entire family worships together. Corporate worship is not commonplace in Taiwan.


__Then they would move on to the side rooms and/or the back rooms depending on how many sticks of incense they were holding. The back rooms house other idols.


__Since it was the proper time to be worshiping ancestors, the rooms where the urns were kept were actually off limits because there would be too many people present.  So, the side rooms served as another location to leave offerings to ancestors.


__After everyone in the family had deposited their incense, we waited a few more minutes and then Lawrance’s dad declared it had been enough time, and everyone went back to retrieve the paper money they’d brought to burn and the offerings, this time namely fruit.


__Then we headed over to an open pit for them to burn the paper money.

__Here Lawrance explains some of what we were seeing:

__In this video, he explains one of the papers that was being burned to the ancestors:

__After all the paper money that our family had brought was burned, we return to Lawrance’s dad’s car and drove about 10 minutes to the home where his dad was raised. But, getting out of the parking lot proved interesting. The photo below was taken from inside L’s dad’s van . . . yeah, it was just a tad crowded at the temple that day.  What you can’t see is that there are cars parked on both sides of the road–the woman in red got of the red car to help her husband . . . AND we both (our car and their car) and MORE cars lined up behind us.  It was one of those surreal “only in Taiwan” moments for me.


__I plan to show photos from the rest of the day, which includes how the Wu family worshiped the 9 generations before grandma and grandpa, as well as reflect on some of the implications a holiday like this has on Christian believers later this week in other blog posts.

stop explained

Underneath the stop sign it says: “Stop car, then drive.”

Does a stop sign really need an explanation?

taiwanese tea

My freshmen English class’ final project last semester was to put together a video introducing some aspect of Taiwanese culture to “foreigners.”  These two students–Ray and Steven–made a video on Taiwanese tea.

I enjoyed it, so I asked if I could share their video with yall.  They reluctantly agreed (but that’s probably because a good Taiwanese student must show humility in the form of shyness).

"i don't believe in love"

Talking about the topic of “marriage” with students here in Taiwan always makes me just a little bit sad.

Most of of my students–male and female–do not want to get married.  They claim they have absolutely no desire to get married.  I find this SO hard to believe.

As college students in America, I and my classmates/roommates were all about getting married and there was even the “ring by spring or your money back” saying going around, and we were teased and teased others about getting an “MRS. degree.”  (By the way, if that was true, I want my money back.)  But, maybe even things in America have changed too . . . I don’t know . . . that was 10 or so years ago after all.

Here are some of the things Taiwanese college students (mostly female) are saying about marriage in my classes:

• I don’t believe in love.  It’s too good to be true kinda like fairies.
• Marriage just ruins dreams.
• I don’t want to get married because it just “ma fan” (trouble).
• Marriage is the graveyard of love.
• I don’t want to get married because of the “shu foo” (shackles) it places on you.

Every time I talk to students about love and marriage, I leave perplexed and saddened.  I at least now grasp their arguments, even if I don’t agree.  At first I couldn’t even understand their arguments at all.

It’s sad.  And even though I’ve heard all different kinds of explanations for why my students don’t want to get married . . . the root of them all is sin.  The truth is we live in a fallen world.  Scripture tells us that God is love.  And, I firmly believe that those who don’t know Him are unable to love others.  No wonder my students are so hard-hearted and willing to deny the existence of love altogether.

Marriage and family life in Taiwan weigh heavy on Lawrance and my hearts.  We aren’t sure exactly when or in what manner, but we desire to allow God to use us to minister to the broken and hurting families and loveless singles in Taiwan.


We invite you to join us in praying for us as we seek the Lord’s direction in our lives, as we ask Him for guidance and wisdom in the decisions we are facing right now.  Thanks in advance!!

the engagement

YuHong and Cindy were engaged on Sunday. This is an official event in Taiwan between the betrothed’s families.

Lawrance's parents with one of the wedding photos at the entry

There are few different ceremonies preformed at the engagement. One ceremony is the presenting of gifts. Here are the “gifts” given from The Wu family to the bride-to-be.


Then Mrs. Wu helped to place the jewelry on her newest daughter-in-law, and Cindy’s mother placed her gifts to her new son-in-law on him.
 

Like at a Taiwanese wedding, the bride and groom to be are presented with their parents to all present.  This is an opportunity to thank the guests who came as well as offer a toast.


In addition there would be a tea ceremony. (But Lawrance didn’t get any photos of that since he was a participant.)  I’ll ask Lawrance more about this, and write about it later.  I’ve actually never seen it done before, only read about it.

And, there is also an entire banquet feast as well.  But, the groom-to-be’s family slips out before the dessert is served.  Neither Lawrance nor I know why this is the tradition, but it is. :)


And, there is dress changing, toasting table to table, passing out of candy from a basket by the door as well–just like at a wedding.
 

Since Cindy’s family is in Taipei, both sides of Lawrance’s family together took a charted bus to the north.


Newly engaged women also give their friends and family members (on her side of the family) a box of cookies or cakes to help announce the engagement. Here are Cindy’s cakes:


And, here is Lawrance with the happy couple!


Since traditionally the engagement is hosted by the bride’s family, Lawrance and I didn’t have a Taiwanese style engagement ceremony.  I actually think that is one of the reasons why Lawrance’s parents so freely let the two of us get married in my hometown with my friends and family–in their minds it was similar to the bride’s hosting of the engagement ceremony.